SSR: Imperfect

SSR:

I am currently reading a book named Imperfect on  a website/app called Wattpad. Imperfect is about a girl who is mentally unstable because she has a mild (but serious) case of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD). Her disorder causes her very wealthy family to disown her and treat he like dirt. Even though her family behaves in such a manner, she is always trying to impress them and make them proud of her. I am really starting to like this book because it kind of relates to me. No I do not have OCD, no matter how many times I joke about it. I relate to the character, Penelope, in a different way. I understand the need to make your parents proud, as do most teenagers, and I understand the need to control everything and be perfect. 

As a senior, starting her last semester in high school, I want everything to go  perfectly. I want to control everything and as soon as soon as things don't go the way I want, I shut down. But the thing is, its tiring to control everything all of the time. That is why I am starting to give up and just let things go the way the universe wants. I am starting to not care what my parents say or what my friends think, which is exactly like Penelope in Imperfect. 

Penelope started to act out and disobey her parents. She started to question whether or not she wanted to go to college even though she was at the top of her class, yelling at teachers for giving her an A-, and telling off mean girls. Penelope took her hair out of that tight and rigid bun, and let it fall down her back. That is all I want to do! I want to question my choices! Do I really want to go to college? Or do I just want to go because that is what's expected of me? I want to let my hair out and just go with the wind! I don't want that tight rigid bun anymore! 

But the reality of it is: I cant go with the wind and graduate above average at the same time. I can question myself yet still control things. I've tried it and it does not work. Unlike Penelope, I don't have OCD, letting my hair down is not good for me. 

This book is not yet completed, but I can predict that Penelope would be better off going with the wind. its beneficial to her. But not to me, I cant afford to let go like that. At least not completely.
Link:http://www.wattpad.com/story/3078548-imperfect